I knew this would change everything but as I stood there transfixed, I felt helpless. …..unable to move…watching my soul leave me forever….or so I thought …though I wanted to run and bring her back, my wooden feet just refused to obey my command..…they remained stuck to the ground.

She sat down in the jeep beside Mrs Rosalyn, looking straight ahead….while I waited for one last look from her, she kept adjusting her new pink frock…. I wanted to run and hug her….I wanted her to jump out of that monster jeep but watched helplessly as it came to life…its engine made a groaning noise and left……. leaving a cloud of dust behind…leaving a huge void in me that would remain gaping forever.

We played with each other’s umbilical cord inside…. Once I nearly strangled her with my fist around the cord, blocking her blood supply…. It was only when she went limp that I released the pressure and let it go…. Today she gave it back to me……..split me into two, taking my half with her…left me bleeding….. I can’t think of surviving without her.

My mother had three daughters when my father decided enough was enough… he warned my mother…. If she doesn’t give him a son, her future was doomed….the threats became a reality when she presented him with twin girls…. He left her to marry another one who could bear him a son…that was the beginning of a long road to survival for all of us.

Mother found Mr Smith and Rosalyn Smith… a childless couple who worked in an embassy and had a bungalow…..…we lived behind, in their servant quarters. But she had a good heart; perhaps because of her we are alive.

 I was eight when Mrs Rosalyn got transferred back to her country…it was a troublesome time for all of us…. Uncertainties never left us actually…worry lines on mother’s forehead deepened …. Pale and thin with five daughters to look after, she was fighting a losing battle.

Mrs Rosalyn and mother would talk for hours….we didn’t understand what conspired in those conversations but finally we knew….was it a trade off or my mother’s will to survive…. I can’t say…. but the time came for my soul mate to go…to a world full of promises and innumerable advantages…. Mrs Rosalyn had adopted my sister…with the promise of money she would send yearly for all of us to sustain till we were on our own… I was aghast but my protests had no impact on my mother’s resolve…..she had other things to think about… at eight years of age I did not understand….”Just imagine how happy she would be with Mrs Rosalyn” she tried to convince us… actually to herself.

Baby left…five minutes elder to me because she slipped though the birth canal first….. minutes before I made the attempt…and the irony is that she gave me a slip this time too…moved ahead…. not looking back…leaving for a fairy land…. never to come back again.

Years passed……not a day went by when I did not miss her. You try and cut yourself in half…or cut your finger… it never heals completely…. the nagging pain never leaves you…a constant dull ache… no pain killer ever helped…. Mother would come often and sit beside me at nights, stroking my hair to lessen my hurt… but it just refused to go…so often my pillow would be wet in the mornings.

As promised Mrs Rosalyn kept sending money regularly…..that is why we all went to school…later on my sisters got married and I got a bank job and lived with mother… the money was enough for two of us… rather we became comfortable and had our own house too.

Then the money stopped coming….for fifteen long years we had a connection with baby…. suddenly it was broken.

I worried myself sick… not for the money… we didn’t need it… but for my sister… that money was a link reassuring us of her existence…… the pain became unbearable… with no clue to her whereabouts I imagined worst…could she be living and if yes….I wondered if she remembered us….there was no way we could contact her in case she needed us…..does she feel the same that I feel for her…..does she feel the pain of a broken body…a broken soul that shared a common womb, a common cell and even a common sperm?

Life moved on but not a day went by when I did not long for my other half. You can’t be separated from your soul…can you?

Coming back from the bank one day, I saw a black sedan in front of my house. Who could be the visitor I wondered…. tried hard not to raise my expectations. It just took a moment when I opened the door but seemed like a century had passed…….then I saw back of a woman in tight low cut jeans with a blue jacket thrown over a white blouse. Her curly hair was shining against the light… she was busy talking to my mother…but with creaking of the door she turned to face me…. I knew it was her…. no not from her face… that looked very different but from the hunger of her eyes…. an insatiate soul looking for its other half. She ran towards me as I stood speechless, staring silently…centuries passed as I stood engulfed by an indescribable  emotion … in no time we were in a tight hug… for once my legs did not betray me….I moved and caught her tight …… we laughed and cried and drank from the soulful spring like two thirsty travelers….